Hey I’ve been turned into a cow… can I go home? And other excuses that might be holding you back
Yeah, I know, I feel the same. Shit is getting real, and tough and really to be honest it would be way more comfortable to just stay in bed and not do anything. But I am starting to realise that ‘way more comfortable’ isn’t the route I want to take. In fact ‘way more comfortable’ just sounds like a cop out. It sounds small. And I decided a while ago that I wanted life to be big. And full. Because I want to grow up, because grown ups are fucking cool sometimes.
But there we all are on the precipice waiting to leap into life and deciding mostly that it might be more comfortable if we back away.
Mostly this is excuses talking…
Sometimes they sound like this:
” My brain is tired I can’t do this right now”
” it’s not a good time to reach out I will save this for later”
” Tomorrow is a much better day to do my laundry, Wednesday’s are not laundry days”
” They will probably say no if I ask so I won’t”
“Once I have had some chocolate I will have enough energy to do this”
“Coco Pops are just closer on the shelf than anything else”
Excuse that are there because we are scared or because we are uncomfortable and we don’t want that so we try to change: For example – I am too tired, I do not know where to start, I am too busy, I didn’t really like that anyway, I am too old, too young, it’s too hot outside, i need to digest lunch first. You know all the usual ones.
The ones that stop us from doing the thing, and leaping forward and making a difference to either ourselves or in the world. So quite frankly we need to just stop.
The key I think though is figuring out the difference between an excuse and a reason.
Because excuses and reasons are very different things.
Excuses are the things that don’t really stand up if you play it down the line, they are things that could always be true, or are not really important enough to compromise for. You could always be too old or too young, but chances are someone your age has already done the thing, you could always be too tired (I mean let’s face it, who ever gets enough sleep anyway?? Naps are a thing – let’s talk about that) But they aren’t reasons to not do something they are just reasons you are scared of doing it.
Reasons however are concrete, they are not a state that will always be there and shift over time. For example you might have a sleeping baby in your arms and someone on the other end of the phone complaining. This is probably not the time to decide to sweep the floor or start your new business venture. You might have moved to a new place and not really understand the culture there yet, so maybe it’s not the time to invest in a new business venture. Or maybe it is? You tell me? The point is a reason has grounds that stand and will at some point change so it won’t be a reason anymore. An excuse is wishy washy.
And if you can pick out the difference between the two you can urge yourself to just take a step. And one step at time it turns out you can go pretty fucking far.
So next time you feel something bubbling up that stops you. Ask yourself reason or excuse? Hint: if in doubt most things are excuses.
When you do decide to live this way there is a challenge – shit get’s uncomfortable. It is a world full of fear over and over and over again. And that shit is hard. Like fuck me it’s really hard and I am quite scared and I have actually been turned into a cow so I can I go home.
But the more we excuse ourselves the more we forget that we are the heroes in this story. The one who are going to change our worlds and the world. The people who are going to turn 2020 from the shit show into the one that brought positive change. The people who are going to make the new normal actually new in a way that brings us all more equality and goodness.
So, discomfort is hard, fear is fucking terrifiying (go figure), but you have got this. It might just be a step at a time. But when you can if you can, choose to not go home, but stay and see what a difference you can make in the world. Because fuck me do we need your particular brand of hero right now.
Thanks in advance,
P.s. if you are wondering if this was inspired by Emperors New Groove. Then yes, yes it was. This is an essays about growing up inspired by a Disney film