The first goal is the habit

One of the challenges of really being a grown up is stopping lying to yourself. I lie to myself all the time about things I am going to do and then, well, never end up doing. Does it feel like I am lying to myself at the time? No, of course not I feel galvanised by the plan. But ultimately motivation in the moment turns into decision making time and time again where I fail to follow through. Which means time after time, I watch myself make a plan to have a goal to achieve the goal, and then don’t do anything about it. 

Because a nice kind of lying that looks like hope, feels a lot better than making the decision on the hard day to do the thing you said you would do but can’t seem to find time or motivation for. 

But when I think about what being a grown up really means – part of it is showing up for ourselves. (for others as well of course), but it has to start with us. Grown Ups can be trusted to do the things they say they will do. Or at least the vision of growing up that I had, was the idea that we could and would follow through on the things that mattered. 

And I fundamentally believe it has to start with ourselves, taking out the well-meaning white lies and either doing the thing, or stopping pretending that we will. Personally, I am starting to think life might be a little bit richer if I did show up. And so, I am starting with the only goal that matters right now – create the habit. 

That is always the first goal. Anything beyond that does matter. Do I want to be fluent in Spanish? Of course. Do I want to have a book published? Of course. Do I want to see the sea everyday… well duh, of course?! But the goal can’t be fluency, a published book or even seeing the sea. 

It has to be practicing every day, writing every day, leaving the house every day. 

And once I do that every day always and it’s the habit. And once I have a habit, maybe I can have a new goal. But until then it’s about showing up today. 

Which of course means I will see you tomorrow.